Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
