btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
