There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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