I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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