I can text with my tongue
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
