This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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