This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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