Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
