he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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