yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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