did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
