no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
