Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
