and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
