are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
