Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
