Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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