So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
