Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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