Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
