Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
