I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
