You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
