dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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