i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
