I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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