When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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