She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
