I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
