Christians are straight up FREAKS
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
