My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
