You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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