She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
