How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
