what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
