dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
