I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
