is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
