HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
