Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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