Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Randomize
