i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
