WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
