I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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