Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
