I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
