She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
