But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
