the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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