I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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